What’s your worth? Your value? Do you feel like you represent the person you want to be? Or do you feel like you can offer more than you are giving? Do you act one way with one person, and another way around others? Are you true to you?
I feel people preserve and protect their desire and ambition in life, with few going after them to the fullest. Some yearn to take full advantage of their passion and drive, however many, if given a chance split and run away. Why?
Is this because you have thought about your passion for so long, you feel like it is unattainable? Are you more comfortable just letting your desire spin and weave a life of it’s own inside your mind? Where is your mind, away in LaLa land where you now reside? Are you scared to listen to you and follow your desire? Are you nervous what others would think? What your loved ones would say? Are you not sure how to start because you can only see the end goal? Are you so scared of not being successful at your dream you allow that fear to control you?
Many people spend energy burying their passion under the smokescreen of disorder in life. They may discuss their passion, never achieving it, happy to just pretend they are living the dream. Lie to friends, family, strangers and eventually lie so much you start to believe. I know some people that chose to follow their heart because they want to show their parents what they capable of before anything happens to them. I know others who have been handed a difficult journey in life, but they prove that anything is possible by living their dreams. Maybe a death motivates you, death is a solid motivator to make you want to grab life. Perhaps a close medical scare of a loved one or yourself makes you see the world from a different view. Your priorities do change along with your perception on how life should go with each action, move and encounter you have, no matter how big or small.
Drive and passion is that little voice talking to you inside your head. A beacon always going off, but not always acknowledged. The beacon grows in luminosity if you stray to far from the path in life. Do you still avoid it and let it just live in your head? Or let the beacon make your path clear? There is a good marker to understand what your passion in life is. If you feel guilt or stress doing other activities in life that are not your passion, you get this gut feeling that you should be doing something different, spending your time wisely in a beneficial way. Not out everyday avoiding reality, hanging with friends or working in a go nowhere job.
What drives you is your ambition, what you know you are capable of. If you don’t answer or pay it any mind, it will grow into its own entity, a strong one that has the power of making you feel even more lost and feeling of having no worth or value. During stressful times I find it is easy to berate yourself, I used to berate myself calling myself a loser, failure, deadbeat if I would sit around not living up to my potential. It was so hard to actually get up and do something for myself. It is easier to watch movies and play video games all day then do something that will benefit myself in the long haul.
What drives you, your desire and passion can case jealousy in you. You are jealous of others who grab and harness that drive and follow their dreams. When others around you discover their calling, you get mad. Thinking they don’t deserve what ever it is it may be. Their passion and success makes you cringe with envy, leaving you thinking you deserve what they just got. Weather it be a promotion, money, a partner for life.
You must pave your own path, put yourself out there, be noisy yet humble. Get noticed, but do so in a kind way that you are comfortable with, make just enough noise to let people know you are there. To do this, you have to know yourself. Stand toe to toe with you. Learning you makes the difference between people walking over you and you standing up for you. You will also understand, you may not be able to control moments in your life, but you can control how you react. It is easy to let life trample over your desires, using death, lose, sickness as a scapegoat to having no drive or remaining lost. Somewhere in the search for understanding yourself and reaching for your desires you will seamlessly exchange eternal regret for eternal happiness without even noticing.
To not follow your desires takes too much energy. That static between the world you forced yourself to create versus the world you want to create eventually will wear you out. It will all come to a boil inside you and create such an explosion that makes you become jaded. Believing life is unfair and working against you.
What drives you also drives you away. If you acknowledge your passion and seek it out you will enter a new realm you didn’t know existed. A realm of discovering and impressing yourself. It takes one moment, just ten minutes to sit, write and make a game plan towards your dreams. When you start to make movement, you feel proud. However, many times after that one time, you push it away, thinking you will go back to it. When you don’t continue your progress, it eats away at you, now even more since you got a taste. You get hard on yourself, berating yourself again. You promise yourself you will set aside time to work, you never do. It takes one distraction to put your passion on the backburner again. Take ten minutes that you spend stalking people on Facebook and do something that will actually help you.
Don’t let life keep making excuses and drive you away from your passion. Life goes by fast, 10 years ago I was 17. 17! That blows my mind. I still feel 17, I get taken back every time I see myself in the mirror, I feel 17, but I don’t look 17. The best part about following your passion, besides learning you is you get to explore what you passions passion is. It’s a neverending growing and learning experience.
I want you to write your passion, your dream if you had unlimited resources now!
Next write one step you can take towards that goal now.
Creation is in the eye of you. You have to see yourself live with yourself, only you have to know about you, what you want. After you learn you, it’s a ripple effect, you gain more confidence, more insight not just in your soul but all around you. You are more aware and that awareness makes life more precious. Knowing you makes you assertive and now you can handle life around you. Knowing who you are, how you will react in certain situations feels awesome.
How to motivate yourself to find that drive? It’s hard, it takes time, the first few years after grieving or a moment of awakening you will notice a change in you. Your tolerance for people and situations change, you discover you can take on more stress, using your past experiences as a new baseline to work off of. You are not superman, just a superyou. On the other hand, you still break under stress, you may overreact at times, be up all night thinking about life. Nighttime, after all is the worse time, can never shut your mind off. I know, I am struggling with a week long bout of insomnia as I write.
Motivate yourself by doing what your doing, collecting data on life, on you, on yourself in life. You are already doing what you need to do to motivate yourself, just need to be aware of it. Open yourself up. Once you break down that wall of you, you can rebuild it how you want and it’s beautiful. The choice is yours.
Mr. Ambition, tear down that wall.
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