It is out of your hands. Cancer, illness, sickness. Remember it is out of your hands. Trying to stop a loved one from passing from an illness is like trying to grow flowers in the ground in the middle of a blizzard. Impossible. Instead wake up and realize that there is no cure, no cure from this illness and no cure for you to skip this part of life and move on. There can be peace however. You can say what you feel. You control your own life. You may not believe it right now, you may not believe it at times but other times you do believe that. You control your own life. Open yourself up to a level of intimacy with yourself. If you feel something, say something, right or wrong. If you are scared say what you are scared of. Know your fears.
Write down a list of your fears now.
The list, as all the lists I make, and want you to make are for your eyes only. So I ask you this, if nobody but you will see the list, why not just write down your fears. Your feelings. Your emotions. Your thoughts. Your eyes-only and don’t convince yourself that you don’t need to write down anything. You can tell yourself you know your own fears and emotions. Think that it would be pointless to waste time writing something you know. I say there is no point in not trying.
I want you to see the word, feel the word being written. Look at the word, what do you see? What do you feel when you look at it? I am of the belief that if you say it and write it you will be more aware of it. It will be more in your face. Move from your subconscious or buried deep inside your mind and bring it to the forefront. You will think about the issues you wrote down. Writing it, you are seeing it.
Imagine you hear about a pair of sneakers that are getting released. Someone describes them to you, but you do not actually see them. You make your own mind up about what the shoes look like. They may not look anything like you picture. You just nod your head to your friend explaining, pretending to understand so you don’t embarrasses yourself. You store that information in your mind somewhere, maybe under ‘don’t need’ cabinet of your brain. Now imagine you see the sneakers, you have now seen them, you looked at them and you held them. When your mind thinks of sneakers now it’s more vivid, more real, you can see yourself walking around in the sneakers.
That’s what I want you to do with your feelings, see them. Live them, embrace them, picture yourself solving or using that emotion or skipping that feeling and handling a situation a different way. I feel next time you feel that emotion you will picture that word written in your notebook. You will see the word floating around your head. Try it, be honest with yourself, you have tried it your way, now try it this way.
~CAUTION: Digging around your subconscious can release and trigger different emotions. The road to coping is very emotional, so please proceed with baby steps, you don’t win a gold medal if you race to the finish. I want you to stop and smell the roses along the way.
Life is like math…angles everywhere