~Everything but the…~

Think of these topics while reading this:

What’s stressing you?

Why are you sad?

Who can you talk to?

What are you scared to talk about?

What are you scared of?

Talking just two minutes a day about what you are experiencing or feeling will get you more comfortable with your feelings. This is hard for many reasons. Some people might not want to hear what you have to say. Others may not know how to react and feel uncomfortable and others just don’t care.  Talking, that’s one of the hardest issues I dealt with in the early coping stages.  Talking about an illness, sickness, a sick parent or stressful situation. It is hard and there is one big guarantee that you must understand to get over this and love yourself.  You will cry! Your eyes will water the first few times you start talking about your grieving.  I still choke up all these years later.  My watery eyes are proof that there is no timeline for grief.  Your tears don’t disappear and feelings don’t change because it has been a year or five years.  I view crying eyes as a strength.  You are confronting yourself.  How many times do you really shake things up in yourself?

Here is another analogy ~You may be able to confront a waitress because she put mayo on your sandwich after you already expressed you didn’t want mayo. Seeing the mayo glistening off your sandwich pisses you off and gets under your skin. You blame the waitress for being a idiot and not understanding a simple order.  Your feelings are the mayo. Nobody knows you don’t like mayo until you tell them about it.  This waitress may of heard you but she didn’t listen and didn’t tell anybody, others listen but still  put it on the side and others do it right and just get you.  That’s like talking about your feelings.  The more comfortable you get the more relaxed you get  mentioning you don’t like mayo.  It will go from a feeling inside you like ‘I don’t wanna eat here, they put mayo on their turkey club.’ To ‘I will eat here’ and not stress about their preparing style because you know you and you know how to talk to the waitress and handle a mayo contamination episode.  {this is of course a silly comparison but I hope many can relate}

I feel your crying eyes is a mix of your nerves reacting against this new form of shock treatment your body is experiencing. You talking about a subject you would normally hide from. It took years for me to learn the healing powers of talking about my pains and grief.  I would make it a game, try to see home much I could talk about it, or see what I could and could not talk about.  It is a powerful tool and brings it to the forefront of you mind.  Be kind and gentle with yourself.

I choose to cheer at everything I do because when grieving everything is a accomplishment.

~Happy reading

~Everything but the…~

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