I think the most awakening part of experiencing a loved one who is sick or passed form an illness is realizing that you survive it. You do learn to live with it, it becomes who you are, your makeup. I view grievers as entrepreneurs of emotions. You learn, you live, you learn to live and how to do it and function everyday. You keep moving forward more, you try and try and learn what works to help you cope. Like writing down notes like I have been talking about. You learn what movies you can and can’t watch now because some just make you feel too damn sad. You start to know you and go with your gut or intuition.
I want you to earn your happiness. I earned it because I know what worked and what didn’t over my course of grieving. You have perseverance, each time you think you grieve or try to move forward and get kept back by something you learn, you learn how to cope. Coping is learning about you and what makes you tick. What makes you feel swells of emontion at times and what doesn’t.
You have also earned where you are. You are the best thing that has happened to you, you have gotten to here and you will get yourself there, wherever there is. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
I find a majority of people point fingers when something doesn’t work out. A tiny hiccup in life comes, people retreat back to there last place of comfort. Most people don’t point fingers when good happens. When good things occur it’s called luck.
Luck is a way to fuel your negative mindset. You are thinking in terms that, that goodness you felt is random and not typical. You think this good is a fluke, so you call it luck. Negative events you can pinpoint the exact moment or person who foiled you. Fume and fester over that one situation that just stopped you short so you cant keep moving on. You tell yourself you don’t deserve to be happy, every time I move forward somebody keeps me down. You earn your happiness just like you earn your sadness. So if you believe you put yourself in a position to be hurt, you also have to believe you put yourself into a position to be happy. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could pinpoint the positives moments in your life too and not call it luck.
Earn it, earn yourself, earn your respect, earn your freedom. Here is an example, a burger shop is 25 minutes away from you. You had it once and can’t get the taste out of your head. You have heard other reviews from friends and nobody really likes it. This burger is controlling your every thought, you have to try it again to know if it is bad and you just got lucky or if it is your new favorite spot.
Drive A} You go and wait at a burger joint, wait and wait, order, a little movement and wait some more. Finally, the burger gets handed to you. Brown bag spotted with grease all the usual signs of a good burger, First bite, you look at your burger, inspect it. Think it looks like you remember, but it tastes different, not as good as you recall. You finish your fries and shake and toss the burger. You took the drive, next time you know not to drive down there.
Drive B} But on the other hand, you could trave to the burger joint and wait, order, wait more before that greasy brown bag comes to you. But this time your first bite tastes better than you remember. You love it, all the reasons you came back and more rolling around on your tongue. You’re patting yourself on the back for making this trek to get the burger.
This is earning it, sure, drive A wasn’t as good as you remember but you earned that thought. You went the distance, challenged your mind and found out for yourself if it was worth it. You didn’t put off your dreams of eating that burger again becasue you heard it was bad, you wanted to find out. You earn what you feel when you try, you are a entrepreneur of yourself.
Move so bravely and confidently through life that let has to catch up to you