~Honest with you~

From my experiences being honest to you is a very healthy and an open way to live. I believe being honest on all levels is amazing, but today I am writing about speaking honesty. Saying what you feel and think instead of what you think people want to hear.  This verbal honestly will slowly grow more confidence in you.  You will know more about your own limits and know what you like, don’t like and stick up for yourself in many ways.  The domino effect of speaking honesty has no limits if done in a elegant manner.  Be noisy but humble. While grieving many kinds of people will cross paths with you.  Your patience will also grow thin so you must be careful about the company you keep.  {but that topic is for another day}

Being honest is a great way to feel good about the choices you make.  It may give you the butterflies in your belly feeling. Those are your nerves working because you are saying what you feel rather then what people may want to hear. That is you shaking things up inside you, it’s a good thing.  I feel that the best part of being honest is you know how the truth played out.  You can look back objectivity thinking about a situation in a positive manner.  Positive because you know you were honest to you and those around you. So no matter the outcome you know you said what you felt and nobody can take that from you.

If being honest didn’t give you the end result you hoped for, all is not lost.  Think, you will  still have that closure of knowing you were honest and that feels damn good, trust me. Achieving closure is priceless. It helps ease the mind and make moving forward less emotionally draining. Don’t use being honest as a open invitation to walk anywhere saying whatever you want. I am talking about seeking emotional truth through being honest only.

If somebody asks you your opinion or thoughts, be honest.  If you are don’t understand something, lost something and want it back, give it the truth. Something maybe on your mind like your sick or loved one pushing you away saying their fine. Have an honest talk with them.  I know it’s hard.  It is pain.  It is sad. On the other hand. It is beauty. It is freeing. It is intimate.

I will not say being honest is easy in some environments.  It takes courage and mental commitment to want to stay on the path of honestly.  It is good for you in the long haul to be straightforward.  Don’t project on to others or blame somebody else. Only speak what you feel and know.  Speak your mind, you own your own mind. Knowing what you want is all I want you to do.  If you know you, you will love you.

I remember a week before my mom passed away. We had a no limits conversation for 2 hours about what was happening to her from cancer.  I talked about how it made me feel, more in depth than anytime before.  I cried my eyes out.  It is hard for me to talk to my 53 year old mom about her dying.  I discussed my plans for the future while she told me what she wanted for me.  It felt sad but beautiful talking to her.  I had to though because I knew she wouldn’t be there to see it.  The conversation started by me making her sit down and talk. I was scared of what would happen if we talked about the truth so bluntly.  I was also scared of what would happen if we didn’t talk.  In the end, my honestly gave me so much relief, strength and courage to move forward.

While grieving there is so much pain, anxiety and stress.  I feel it’s best to make your life as positive and rewarding as possible to make room for those unexpected moments of grief.

I had to make a choice that was not easy.  I grew from that moment and I was proud of me doing what I always wanted. To talk  frankly to my mom about the future.   I put my self-love and my own well being first.  I knew no matter what happened, I will go home and know I told the truth.  Nobody can take that away.

Picture it like this:

Have you ever had a crush on somebody?  However, you get to nervous to tell that person how you feel. Maybe before seeing them you talk yourself up. “Today I am going to tell this person how I really feel.”  You know what happens when you finally meet up.  You say nothing, just go along with the day thinking about telling them how you feel. It can wear you out to.  It’s when you go back home or leave them you kick yourself for not saying anything.  You rag on yourself for not telling that person you are crazy for them and how much you like them.  This is not being honest with you.  There is a chance they may not like you.  So you move on.  There is a chance they do like you.  You move on from there.

Please also be gentle on the person you are speaking to as well.  Being noisy but humble doesn’t mean hurt others. You just have to speak up for yourself  Nobody else will know what you want unless you say something. If you don’t say anything you are hurting yourself.  Remember be noisy but humble. Make sure your voice is heard, your feelings are not being compacted down and you respect those around you.  Most importantly you respect yourself. It’s all about being able to go home and know you were honest.

Sometimes you may hear what you don’t want.   You also may hear exactly what you want.  You don’t know until you speak and wait for the answer.

~Happy reading

~Honest with you~

One thought on “~Honest with you~

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